What It Feels Like To Be Depressed

In my case, a painful heart, a suffocating agony of feeling, a sense of folornness and isolation, a feeling of incapacity and inadequacy, a suicidal urge, a sense perception that sees everything in a dark, translucid light, a contempt of the self and of the world, a feeling of powerlessness and despondency, a feeling that one cannot enter, have access to the world, to social positions, regret, guilt, a profound alienation from institutions and modern technology and modern human beings, in particular human beings who appear to be happy, a feeling of rejection by others, the impossibility of carrying out mundane tasks, self hate, fatigue, a feeling that everything is false, evil or malicious . How can people expect someone with such emotional woe to stay alive?